by Jezebel Delilah
A typical conversation between me and Lil Wayne… We always get so deep.
Me: Hey, Weezy. I’m so hungry and there isn’t anything healthy to eat, on, or near, my campus. Will you bring me some lunch?
Lil Wayne: “Black and white diamonds; fuck segregation.”
Me: I appreciate and resonate with your political sentiment, and I assure you I’m not trying to delegate menial tasks to you because you are a Black man. I’m just really hungry, and I trust that you know me well enough to know what I would want to eat.
Lil Wayne: “Shawty want a thug; bottles in the club.”
Me: You know I cant drink alcohol at work. Plus, liquor on an empty stomach increases the chances of vomiting, which would mean I’d need access to a shower and a change of clothes.
Lil Wayne: “I loved her fancy underwear. I’d sit behind her every year, waiting for the chance to get to tell her I’m the one she should be with.”
Me: Weezy-Pie, I told you that I can’t be down with you like that. I find your misogyny incredibly unattractive. Maybe if you read some bell hooks and Audre Lorde we can revisit this conversation. Also, it sounds like you were trying to use alcohol as a means to hooking up with me, and that’s a perpetration of rape culture. Lastly, how do you know whether my underwear is fancy or not? We need some boundaries in this relationship, and I’m never asking you for a favor again. I’m just gonna go get a cheeseburger and call it a day.
Lil Wayne: “I’m a beast, you can ask them hoes. And they might even say you should leave me alone…I’m a rude bastard; I don’t give a fuck about y’all.”
Me: What did I ever do to you for you to be so mean? Are you mad at womyn? Do you hate womyn?
Lil Wayne: “I see that guilt beneath the shame. I see your soul through your window pain. I see the scars that remain. I see you Wayne. I’m lookin at the mirror…”
Me: So, it’s really yourself that you hate. Why you taking it out on me? You deserve to treat yourself better, with love. I love you. You know how much I love you, right, Weezie?
Lil Wayne: “Through my rise and fall, you’ve been my only friend. You told me that they can understand the man I am…”
Me: Just give peeps a chance, homie. They will see how beautiful you are, how much you have to offer. Trust and believe in yourself.
Lil Wayne: “I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes, hate in my heart, love in my mind, I seen nights full of pain, days of the same, you keep the sunshine, save me the rain. I search but never find, hurt but never cry. I work and forever try, but I’m cursed so never mind.”
Me: Baby, you are not cursed. It’s this fucking colonial, oppressive society. But I feel you. I feel your hurt, your outrage, your pain. Shit is hard. I feel you. But, I still believe in you.”
Jezebel Delilah is a fierce fat femme Faerie Princess Mermaid Dragon, Hot English Instructor, and contemporary urban hippie activist who uses literature, performance, storytelling, and flirting to advance her politics of radical love, socioeconomic justice, anti-racism, and community empowerment. She is co-host of East Bay Open Mic, Culture Fuck, a member of the performance troupe, Griot Noir, and a part of Deviant Type Press.